Recently, I started reflecting on cycles in life. It appears to me that there isn't just one particular cycle determining my life. One could think that it's mainly about the biological cycle of day and night. Or about our work life cycle dividing the constant flow of time into work/weekend, vacation and non-vacation.

While these cycles definitely also play their role, I found that reducing life's dynamics to them is way too simple and this rhythmic texture is way more sophisticated.

Rather there seem to be many different, interplaying cycles which form a unique texture of rhythm throughout my life. These rhythms sometimes tend to be very simple and steady ones, others are more complex and unpredictable. Especially, I found that some of these cycles are more compatible with our modern, constantly accelerating society than others, while some are highly unavailable to one's own will and conscious decision.

With these thoughts I like to point out the uniqueness of our creative cycles and how important it is to respect their self-will and unavailability in regards of accumulation, optimization and controllability.

Since much in today's Western society is defined and designed by these economic approaches, it could seem natural to think that everything in this world is optimizable. I don't believe that.

Think about cycles in modern bureaucracy or businesses. Standardized and optimized procedures can provide a relatively reliable output or a product. Maybe you can even automise these procedures using technology and digital solutions. Computers can work with such high frequencies and each year their capacity and operating-speed increases.

As we slowly adapt to this crazily fast world, we might end up optimizing our daily life and routines in terms of economical and technological terms.

„Meditate each morning, exercise thrice a week, eat healthy food and digitally measure your life to parametrically control and optimize it!“

The more I reflect on society, the more I find some of these habits and imperatives in my own mind and life. I guess we are all required to go with that kind of development to some degree, but I clearly decided to resist applying this mechanical approach to my own creativity.

Sometimes I like to jam (actually almost all the time). I meet up with musicians and we start playing, but somehow I don't feel the music today. My mind is somewhere else, worrying and pondering and I don't get to experience the flow. Sometimes I like to paint a picture. After the first few brushes I am stuck and I simply don't feel like painting at that moment, because the canvas doesn't seem to speak to me.

The week after, I met again with my friends and we played some music again. Suddenly, I am there, fully present and full of inspiration and I feel lifted by the music.

Lately, I felt like writing again which actually led me to write this text. A few months ago I started writing the first part in German initially. Slowly the text formed itself around the words that arose from my mind and it turned out to be very resonating for me. Yet, this whole process of writing took me over 3 months. I couldn't just sit down each day and write for one hour.

Inspiration and the creative energy that comes with it, is highly unavailable to our control and willpower. We might be able to set ourselves to an environment and state of mind that encourages creativity to show up and speak up, but it's never a guarantee.

Creative cycles evade themselves from control. Often there can be a discontinuity in the pathway of emotional affection and resonance with the artwork. Sometimes it needs some rest and you should spend your time doing something else for a while. When you return you might have randomly witnessed a beautiful scenery of a lit-up tree in the morning sun, encountered a lovely human or had a moving experience which contributes to your artwork.

From an artist point of view, the experience of inspiration won't emerge out of nowhere. You can't extract it from its context of your personal experiences and struggles. Therefore, I am concerned that it will be quite an exhausting and disappointing experience to apply the principles of automation and optimization to your creative process.

It remains to everyone's personal decision to explore one's creativity. Hopefully, these thoughts helped you to understand why sometimes there is deep satisfaction in art, on other days you feel like you failed and on most days you find yourself somewhere between.

However, I believe that it's helpful to remember that initially there is no need to succeed in art (and therefore no actual failure).

I like to ask myself: Why do I create in the first place?

I want to feel. I want to experience beauty. The beauty of this existence that was gifted to us.

JP 09/01/2024